Thursday, 3 March 2016

Dogged by Trouble


I remember in the early days of my residence in this wonderful area of Greater Manchester, being invited to the re-opening of the Three Arrows in Pilsworth near Heywood, which is part of my CAMRA branch area.  Quite a countrified part of this world really and I recall, as I was going to have a drink and therefore not driving, leaving the car at home and hoofing along country roads to Heywood in my suit. I also remember being ticked off in this Lees pub for wearing my Higsons Brewery tie. Well, it was over 25 years ago, standards of behaviour and decency were much more rigidly enforced and they were, by and large, much more innocent times.

Alas no longer. The current tenant of the Three Arrows is being dogged, by, well, doggers. Seems like this quiet and reasonably isolated neck of the woods is an ideal spot for it. Now unlike my dear friend Tyson of this parish, I'm unfamiliar with such terms, so turned to the Urban Dictionary for enlightenment. It speaks thusly: "This is where people meet up in car parks and watch each other having sex. Sometimes other people join in, but it's mainly about watching and getting off on it!"  Well I never. I doubt if such things ever happened in Dumbarton in my youth and certainly I didn't come across anything like it in Liverpool when I was there - and trust me anything went in Scousley - but hey, things change and seemingly it is a widespread thing. Doesn't sound that much like fun to me, but who am I to judge?

Unfortunately what one might regard as a harmless enough, if somewhat unusual and eccentric pastime, has a darker side.  The discarding of unwanted associated items.  This is what is getting on the nerves of the landlady of the pub. Seems your dogger likes to chuck away "Condoms, underwear and baby wipes".  Not so nice at all for the landlady having to clean such things up.  Seems too your dogger, probably as you might expect, is somewhat brazen in their activities, being undeterred by CCTV or, indeed, daylight. This kind of brass necked conduct has narked the landlady further, but thinking on,  it does kind of go with the territory, but nonetheless I agree that she really does have a point that must be addressed.

So this is a plea to my dogging readers. It isn't smart and and it isn't clever. Pack it in.

If you want to read the full gory details have a look at the Manchester Evening News. There are some less than helpful suggestions and poor jokes on Facebook here.

Heywood is also known as Monkey Town. You can read all about it in the Knowhere Guide. 

14 comments:

Erlangernick said...

What a relief - thought it was going to be about dogs fouling the local!

Cooking Lager said...

I would not have thought you had the weather for al fresco coitus.

Back in the 70's didn't you all pt car keys in salad bowls around each others houses or summat? It was on an episode of Life on Mars. At least that was indoors.

Syd Differential said...


There was no such things as a salad bowl 'oop North in the 70's.The only green stuff consumed was grown in an allotment.
But dogging flourished up there because it was the only way of keeping tabs on what your mother was up to.

Curmudgeon said...

You have dogging readers? How do you know?

Tandleman said...

I keep close tabs on you lot you know. Anyway it's a percentage game. With so many readers there is bound to be some.

Cooking Lager said...

It's the craftiest innit? The beer communicators? Dirty buggars them lot.

Tandleman said...

You aye say so. I couldn't possibly comment.

Beermunster said...

Maybe said landlady needs to turn this to her advantage. Perhaps chap on the window of the car and offer the dogging types a nice cool pint of mild once they have finished.

Beermunster said...

Or would doggers be more inclined towards lager? Depends how steamy those car windows got I suppose.

Tandleman said...

I could put up a poll I suppose. After a heavy dogging session do you prefer?

*Mild
*Bitter
*Lager
*An Energy Drink

Cooking Lager said...

Doggers clearly drink Brewdog. Clues in the name. That's how it got it's name.

Curmudgeon said...

5. A nice cup of tea

Lord Egbert Nobacon said...

It reminds me of the time a chum,an aficionado of the adult film industry,was recounting his exploits of the previous night when he had struck up a conversation with a young lady in a bar which led to a moonlight tryst in the hostelry's car park.
" It was all going really well until I decided to slap her on the arse to get her in the mood. "
Anyhow,these dogging chaps.Do they tie the poor mutt up to a tree while they get on with their business ?

Tyson said...

Of course they didn't have dogging back in your day in Dumbarton. It wouldn't be the same in a horse and cart, would it?

But seriously, it is strange and shocking behaviour. Very shocking. There's a perfectly good pub in front of them and people are eschewing its delights in favour of getting their super-sized tackle blankets pulled down by strangers. A waste of valuable drinking time if you ask me.