Monopoly Hidden in Plain Sight

In late June, we headed up to the North East last week for a couple of nights to celebrate the E's birthday. Now, I used to spend a fair bit of time in Newcastle back in my working days, but the Northumberland coast? Completely unknown territory. What would we find apart from dodgy weather?

Our home for two nights was The Olde Ship Inn in Seahouses. Central, it does food, and it offers nine cask lines, though I doubt if E considered the latter aspect when booking us in.Well, you never know, I suppose, but she didn't mention it. On checking in, we err, checked out the bar. The board was a bit of a samey sea of IPAs, goldens, and bitters. Still, a first scan of the wickets threw up a surprise: Hadrian Border Brewery. I thought they’d gone under years ago! Gladly corrected, I went for their Farne Island Blonde which after a long drive was very welcome. I asked why there wasn't a single dark beer on and the barman looked at the pumps like he was noticing this for the first time. "Oh, sometimes we have them, just not right now." Right then. The stout revolution clearly hasn't made it up this far north yet.

We went for the obligatory seaside wander. It’s your classic British coast setup: loads of chippies, a couple of ice cream spots, two curry houses, and that familiar, comforting touch of souvenir led tackiness. Despite the recent heatwave, Seahouses was a bracing 17°C, made even more atmospheric when the sea haar (that thick coastal fog) rolled in.

Naturally, after a wander - spoiler - there's not a lot to see -we fancied a pre-dinner pint, hoping for the best we nipped into The Bamburgh Castle Inn opposite the harbour and our digs. It’s a massive, modern lounge-style place owned by The Inn Collection Group. Very food-led. They had a couple of handpumps from Alnwick Brewery - a name we’d end up seeing almost everywhere -but it was overall a tad underwhelming. A quick glance at the rest of the bar gave the game away: the whole offering was from Molson Coors. Carling, Madri, Staropramen, Worthington, and Blue Moon. Hmm. I choked down a poorly presented Alnwick Amber, followed it with a Blue Moon, and decided then and there I wouldn't be repeating the experience.

To make matters worse, as the place filled up, a proper queue formed. That didn't prevent the staff shouting "Who's next?" into the crowd. If the beer had been any good, I might have braved the line and walked straight to the bar for another. It wasn't, so we left. It was probably for the best.

Back at a heaving Olde Ship, a fellow imbiber tipped us off that a fresh cask of Timothy Taylor Boltmaker had just been tapped. It was in absolute pristine nick. They also told us to check out The Black Swan which we did, stumbling round the back streets in an eerie fog to get there and were rewarded with a brilliant pint of Kirkstall Three Swords. A decent pub overall which we knew we'd return to.

The next day we walked over to Bamburgh along miles of pristine sandy beaches and the sun came out. Surprising me somewhat  Bamburgh is a tiny village dominated by a big, proper "fuck-off" castle. I had imagined it as a sort of decent sized market town or something like that. Well, you live and learn I suppose.

There are three pubs here, and a bit of digging revealed a depressing pattern. Two of the pubs sit just 80 metres apart, owned by the exact same company, serving the exact same Molson Coors lineup alongside those same underwhelming Alnwick beers. Someone has clearly spent serious money turning these places into smart, glossy gastro-pubs, but the beer selection is an absolute crying shame. Nothing imported, all Burton or Tadcaster brewed and all uninspiring. I suppose we should have tried the third Bamburgh pub, but we only had time for two as the buses aren't exactly frequent. 

So, why does is Molson Coors so dominant in this neck of the woods? When I looked into it later, it all made sense:

• The Tadcaster Connection: Molson Coors owns the massive ex- Bass Tadcaster Brewery not so far away in North Yorkshire. Being local keeps their distribution costs and carbon footprint incredibly low.
• Deep Roots: They’ve been brewing at Tadcaster since the 1880s, building unbreakable, historic ties with the region's working men's clubs and independent boozers.
• Loan Ties and  Volume discounts: As a global drinks giant, they can offer massive financial incentives and cheap wholesale prices to pub groups in exchange for total exclusivity on the taps.

On the bus back to Seahouses (free for us old gits - nice), we hit the remaining local pub. The Schooner Inn was a forgettable, unwelcoming keg-only boozer (Molson Coors/ABInBev dominating again, shocker), so I had a swift half of Guinness and moved on. I don't think E enjoyed her Staropramen, or was it Pravha? Does it really matter?

Finally, we popped back to The Black Swan which was rather handily next door. It's another pub that's had a fortune spent on a fancy refurbishment, and while two of their three pumps were inevitably devoted to Alnwick, the Kirkstall Three Swords was still firing on all cylinders. Plus, the atmosphere was cracking.with proper friendly, chatty denizens, admittedly all visitors like us.

On that and related subjects, CAMRA has today launched a bit of pop at the multi nationals* over denying the market by tying up pumps by discounts, exclusivity agreements and many other underhand tricks.  You can read it in the above link. My own additional view is that surely it can't be in the long term interests of businesses to limit their offer for short term gain on supply prices?

The moral of the story? When drinking on the Northumberland coast - and elsewhere for that matter - read the pumps carefully, be wary of corporate monopolies, and when you find a good pint of Kirkstall or Timothy Taylor or whatever - stick to it!

I know I'm having a dig at Alnwick Brewery here which may be unfair. Suffice to say they brew a broad range of beers, but the same two were everywhere. Maybe that's the deal with Molson Coors, and certainly the beers could have been better presented, but you can only speak as you find.

* Extract from the CAMRA Beer Report

Critically, artificial barriers have been constructed that leave independent local and regional producers excluded, in effect, from large parts of the UK beer market, in particular the on-trade. These include,but are not limited to, controls on the range of beers that a licensee is contractually allowed to source at a competitive price, and the draught
beers they are allowed to sell through their dispense equipment.